Between the Lines

We’ve all heard the expression, “reading between the lines”. The expression has been around since the mid-1800’s. It means to understand what someone really means, even if they do not say it. The saying is derived from writing messages in invisible ink between the visible lines of a printed text.

A lot of people require you to “read between the lines” to really know them. We all have a story and it is up to us how much of our story we share. We must also decide who we share our story with. Are you an open book with nothing to hide? Do you tell every detail of your story to anyone who will listen? Or, are you a closed book, only revealing details to a select few in your inner circle?

When I was first diagnosed with IBD -Inflammatory Bowel Disease – I didn’t talk about it. IBD covers Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. Fall 1993, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, the not so glamorous cousin of Crohn’s. For almost ten years, I tried many meds and was in and out of the hospital lots of times. Eventually, I had major surgery to remove my diseased colon. I was symptom free and drug free for over a year. Then, the symptoms came back. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I had developed Crohn’s in my remaining intestines. When I was told I had uclcerative colitis, I remember thinking I was glad it wasn’t Crohn’s. I thought ulcerative colitis could be “cured” by removing my colon.

I had read between the lines and thought that a Crohn’s diagnosis was a life sentence. A chronic autoimmune disease is always with you. I was a closed book, only sharing details of my illness when needed. Through the years, I have become an open book. I have learned no one can help you if keep the book closed.

Living with an invisible illness means that the world, including those closest to you, only know the visible you. They have to read between the lines to know the invisible parts of your life. If you could see me, now, you would see me in a t-shirt and shorts, wearing my bifocals and what’s left of my make-up from earlier today. What you can’t see is that I have run to the bathroom 20 times, today. And, I’m a little scared because I don’t know what’s going on. I just started a new med. I checked the side effects. I learned it could take 3 – 6 weeks for the med to work. Something else you would have to read between the lines to know . . . I am not going to let my invisible life affect my visible life.

Over the years, I have gone from being a closed book to revealing a few details to handful of people on an as needed basis. Now, I am an open book, sharing my story with lots of people. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others.

Reflection: Can you help others by sharing your story? What is your “between the lines” story?